First things first: After a long deliberation (not really), I have added another blog. The reason for this is that I know poetry and ponderous thoughts hold absolutely no interest to some people, while others may truly enjoy them. So I'll keep this-here blog for the typical stuff I've been writing, and my other blog will mostly be poetry that I've written throughout the years and any other artsy-fartsy things that catch my interest. Have no fear, my darlings. You are under NO obligation to visit my new blog "Inside Words Out". I'm mostly really liking the idea of getting things that I've written on paper transferred to the computer. I may as well share them in the process, right? So you are more than welcome to check it out (go to my profile and click on "Inside Words Out"), but it absolutely will not hurt my feelings if you don't. Seriously.
Now I'm going to proceed on to the venting process. And I'm warning you, I'm going off here......
I'm not manipulated very easily. I myself used to be pretty damn sneaky in that area. And though I no longer choose manipulation as a pathetic attempt to twist others, I remember the signs and the tricks. I can spot someone doing some manipulating miles away. Just because I don't call you on it doesn't mean I don't see it. And haven't you noticed that I haven't responded to it? Shouldn't that be a sign to throw in the towel? That your attempts are flawed and failing? That I haven't fallen into your trap? But then again, I've heard that denial is a wonderful land to live in when reality isn't exactly how you want it.
It just amazes me there are actually people out there that are so completely delusional as to continue trying to get in my way, when to me- they don't exist. It's not even possible for them to get in my way. The only thing they accomplish is annoying me. I do have to give them that much credit. But annoy me only. Which must be a disappointment to them as I'm not falling to the ground in unstable emotional tears. Nor am I worried about any words that come out of their mouths. Nor does it have any impact on my life except for the above stated annoyance.
If I don't talk to you, there's probably a reason...... Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it.
Ah..... thank you. I feel better now. Occasional emotional purging is good for the soul. Just as "Airborne" (the stuff that's supposed to fight off incoming sickness), Vitamin C, and Echinacea are good for the body when someone you've been around a lot (namely Chad) brings not-so good tidings of strep throat into your immediate vicinity. (Which we do hope for timely healing for the lad.)
Much Love!
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4 comments:
Jessica, Jessica, Jessica...
I don't mean to sound cynical, but are you sure that you aren't just neurotic? Imagining that people are trying to manipulate you even though THEY aren't saying anything and YOU aren't saying anything. I hear stuff like this all the time, except it's usually coming from recovering meth addicts or paranoid schizophrenics. You're too thinky. You should try some meditation. Or Valium. Either way... :)
It's true that I'm neurotic. That's a given. However, when someone at work smiles sweetly to my face and then tries to get me in trouble behind my back (for reasons unknown), that makes me annoyed and reeks of manipulation. But the Valium sounds like a good idea, too. :)
:) The details make the whole thing seem less neurotic. Sometimes when people talk in generalities I get confused. Thanks for being a good sport and not getting ticked at me!
It's like Chris Rock said(to paraphrase): Every girl has a girl at work they hate. It's like some Dynasty 'she's trying to destroy me' shit....
Just one more thought on neurosis- there's a book out there that basically says we are all neurotic in order to avoid fear of death. Interesting....
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