I Am Going To Sue Frito-Lay

Okay, I'm not really going to sue them. But in my humble opinion, I think they should put a warning label on their bags that says "If you eat an entire large 12-oz bag of these potato chips by yourself over the course of 2 days, you will suffer temporary loss of your taste buds".

Seriously.

Much Love!

My Subconscious, My Family, and United Way

Part 1- My Subconscious

I realized something about myself the other. I nod to myself, shake my head to myself, and cock my head to one side (like a dog does) when I have an interesting thought. I realized this as I was driving to my parent's house on Wednesday. First I noticed myself nodding when I appropriately passed a slow-moving vehicle. Like I was giving myself a thumbs-up or something. It amused me that I physically nod to myself without even realizing it until now. Then yesterday I went to the park by myself and just sat there in the grass for an hour and half just thinking. Not reading, not writing, just thinking. I had an interesting thought and noticed myself cocking my head to the side. As if it makes it easier to think about or something. And then I laughed. And shook my head...... I wonder how many things we each subconsciously do that we notice at some point, or never even notice at all.

Part 2- My Family

So I've stayed at my parent's house the past two nights. And I must say that's it's an absolute blast! My dad and mom have totally mellowed out since I lived there. And my little sisters are hilarious. My sisters made me a bed in their room (which is the entire basement). They basically took every single blanket and pillow and threw it on a folded-down futon. It's so comfortable and soft. And warm, since there's about 20 blankets should I choose to use them. Anyways, I got there Wednesday night and we went to bed. Emily and Rachel and I just talked and joked around and laughed hysterically. My odd sense of humor was passed off to them as they were growing up, so we find things funny that most other people wouldn't. So we just laughed and laughed and laughed- and then we all fell asleep at the same time. Then last night when I was there, Emily pulled up a song on the computer that she wanted me to listen to. My mom had purchased a puppet from Mexico for my nephew. We sat there and made the puppet dance and jump and stomp his foot to the music and again, we'd laugh hysterically. As Cameron posted- we are easily entertained. For example- one time at a family dinner at my Grandma's house, we all held hands and swayed singing "Kumbaya" around the dinner table. For no reason whatsoever. So I've had a very entertaining past two nights with the fam. It's honestly been a blast.

Part 3- United Way

Yesterday was the United Way Day of Caring. I volunteer every year because I love it. We meet at the Gateway at 7 AM for free breakfast, coffee, juice, etc. They have a live band and a lot of the radio stations are there. Yesterday they announced that there were 2,600 people involved. That's awesome! So we had breakfast and then went on our way to our place (gotta keep this certain place confidential) for our volunteer assignment. We were in charge of cleaning the kitchen. We went through a couple bottles of de-greaser and about 15 rags. It was a mess! I basically stood on a ladder and scrubbed the ceiling all day long. But we had a great time and really feel like we helped out a lot. By the time we were done with the kitchen, you could actually start to see the color of the ceiling and the stainless steel of the grill. Imagine that! Their ceilings weren't originally orange/brown after all! Here's two pictures for you. The first one is my back (since I kept trying to avoid the camera) wearing my totally awesome United Way shirt. The second one is me in mid-sentence (not very flattering).

So now I'm off to eat free lunch of food from Chicken Express. (Another free lunch day at work.)
Much Love!

Pushover Smushover

I don't like confrontation. Usually I take the easier route of letting someone walk all over me instead of having to have a conversation with them about how they are walking all over me. But I do have my limits. The whole situation with my landlady has just gotten ridiculous. And knowing that I am going to be out of there at the end of the month gives me the extra push I need to say to my landlady what needs to be said without fear of repercussion. So here's the email that I sent to her today. I am proud of myself for it.

"Hello, Joan.

I have been back to the apartment and am quite confused with something. You told me that the apartment was done and ready to move back into. But as I was there, there were a few things that I noticed have not been completed.

First, the doors are not hung. You did leave a note stating that the workers are coming today to hang the doors. Hopefully that will be taken care of.

Secondly, the baseboards are not completed. They are placed on the floor but not actually secured to the walls. This is not "complete".

Third, the electric heaters are either not hooked up, or are laying on the ground instead of hanging on the wall as they are supposed to be. I went to move my kitchen table from the front room, only to find that it is literally holding up the electric heater from falling over. I don't want to live with my kitchen table in the middle of the front room.

Lastly, the electric heater in the spare room is still constantly on. I received a note from you about two months ago stating that someone was coming to take a look at it, but nothing was ever done. I have basically been paying electricity for the heater ever since I've lived there. As this can get costly, this would need to be fixed since it's something I actually end up having to pay for.

And I do need to address one final concern. You called me last week to explain to me that your son Eric was in my apartment, saw something that he didn't like and threw it away. I can understand your need to be in there while the workers were there. I can understand that you may need to supervise and make sure that things are being done properly. What I have concern with is that your son was there with absolutely no legal reason. My belongings are there. My personal property. No matter how big or small, it is mine. That is a complete violation of my privacy, and I'm having a really hard time with the knowledge that my property is being abused.

Please let me know when the apartment is completely done. Not just the flooring and walls (which are done), but all the other things that need to be completed.

Thank you."

So what do you think? Not bad, huh? I said what I needed to say and hopefully nothing negative comes from it. Though I'm not sure what she can do since evicting me wouldn't exactly hurt. :)

Much Love!

I Have A Pet Peeve

Okay, really I have quite a few pet peeves. But in blogging and emailing and things of the sort, I come across a particular pet peeve of mine with increasing regularity. I'm not going to tell you what it is. I will write a normal blog and here's the game- can you pick up on my pet peeve without me pointing out what it is? Or better yet- can you count how many times I use this exact pet peeve of mine? This is a blog within a blog. Here we go..... (I'm going to try to make it pretty obvious.)

So my landlady said that my apartment is done. I went back their yesterday and went threw the place. It's not really actually done. The doors are off, there is white drywall chalk caked all over my stuff, all my lights are burned out, the baseboards aren't attached, the electric heat in the walls aren't attached, etc. It makes me fill like screaming! Good thing this is my last month dilling with this. I honestly don't think that any landperson should be aloud to treat there tenant with the complete lack of respect that I fill that I have received. Seriously. Like I'm a big fan of having strangers wandering in and out of my apartment without me being their.... I'm just so glad too be out of their soon. I actually broke down last night and bald like a baby. Witch as I've blogged about before, I hate doing. I just need to pack up and be done with it. Hopefully I can hurry it up while the whether is steal nice. Moving in the reign is not my idea of fun. I'm getting sum help cleaning so at least it will be livable at the end of the weak. I'm just filling really bothered these daze. Steal unsure of where I'm going or what to due. Won day at a time, Jessica. Won day at a time.....

End of game.

Much Love!

TGIF

I am so happy that it's Friday. And not only is it Friday, but it's a LONG weekend! Not that I have any plans whatsoever, which actually makes me feel a little lonely. But still, it's Friday.

My landlady called and my apartment is done. I'm "moving back" this weekend. Only to live there for a month while packing up all my stuff just to move out officially. With nowhere to go after that. Yes, ladies and gentlemen- it appears that I will be the 29-year-old single white female who has to stay with her parents for a month or two. The shame! But heck, we do what we have to do. Why don't I just go find a new apartment, you ask? Well, remember me talking about how I've got some big decisions to make? There is a possibility of me moving to Kansas to live with my mom there. That's not a choice that can be made lightly, and I need some time to think about it. So I'll be staying with my dad until I decide direction I want my life to go. I don't want to sign a lease on an apartment only to realize that moving to Kansas is something that I really want. But I may not even decide to move there. So there you have it.

I went to a sex toy party and they handed out these little rubber pencil tops in the shape of a penis. I thought they were funny, and ended up putting mine on a light switch at my house. It's been there so long that I have completely forgotten about it. When my landlady called to tell me the apartment was done, she said
"Oh, and you know that green plastic thing on your light switch?"
It took me a minute to even realize what she was talking about.
"Oh, yah", I said.
She said "Well, I had left it there the whole time all the workers were there. I think they'd look at me with a twinkle in their eye since it's my house. Well, Eric (her slightly autistic son that I hate) saw it and once he realized what it was, grabbed it and threw it in the garbage. He said that you shouldn't have it. I'd replace it, but I don't know where to find one."
I replied "I completely forgot about it and it's not a big deal."
So we are fine with that, except when I give her my notice, that's going to be something I use. That no matter what it is, my privacy and property has been violated. That there was no reason for Eric to be in my apartment in the first place. That I don't feel like I can trust that my personal space is my personal space anymore. Sound good, people?

Yesterday was Michael's Birthday. He left to go camping after I went to work yesterday so I knew I wouldn't see him. I'm taking him out to lunch or dinner on Monday to celebrate and give him his gifts. But I DID try to be cute..... I bought him a piece of Oreo cake, a box of candles, matches, a card, and his favorite jalepeno stuffed olives (YUCK). Wrapped it all with a bow and left it on the counter for him. I wanted him to feel special since he told me that none of his friends and only a few family members ever remember his birthday. (Great friends.....) Hopefully it made him feel a little bit loved on the day he was born. I like being cute sometimes. It's the romantic in me, what can I say?

I will leave you with a video clip from the UK show "Balls of Steel". Pranks and the like. Makes me giggle.



Much Love!

Voyerism

I must admit that I have voyeristic tendencies. Not necessarily in the sexual way, either. (Though if I'm being honest, my neighbors decided to have a "rendezvous" in their backyard as I was in mine- and I didn't exactly run inside. But that's a story for another day.....). But my point is that I'm a peeping tom and an eavesdropper. While walking or driving down the street, I look in the windows. When people are talking around me, I listen in on their conversations. I have spent some time analyzing this fact and trying to figure out where it comes from. And after discussing it with various people, I'm not the only one that does this. I think that we are all a little bit interested in strangers. Most of us don't let our curiousity take over, and we can hide it from others. Or at least make it less obvious....

When I listen to a conversation or look in a window, it's fascinating to me in the way that I wonder what it would be like to be the person, or know the person. What it would be like if I lived in that bedroom, ate in that kitchen, talked with those neighbors. I was just downstairs and found myself listening to a guy talk on his cell phone. Apparently, though he has almost perfect credit, he is having to declare bankruptcy. I know personal information about this stranger and by just knowing it makes me feel like I have some extra power. Not power that would actually be useful, like invisibility or the ability to fly. But power just the same.

I think that's why I love blogs so much. I love reading the thoughts in other people's heads and hearing about people's dreams and disappointments. Their families and friends. It makes me feel connected to strangers in the same voyeristic way as described above. I only "in real life" am actually really friends with four people on my blog list. The others are there for different reasons. Cameron makes me laugh. Rhett is a little boy with Down Syndrome. That One Guy is a friend of a friend of a friend whose words I enjoy. Even Jenn. I have absolutely no idea who this girl is, but I love reading her blogs. It's like I'm getting to know people without actually having to get to know them.

So then I wonder- am I interesting? I think I'm a little bit interesting in my calmly neurotic way. I'm a little bit different, a little bit anti-social. I find myself intentionally NOT writing about some things as I'm the only one that it would be entertaining for. But there's the thing- am I really writing this blog for other people to read? Or am I writing this blog for myself? I think it's a combination of the two. I write about some things that I just simply want to write about, yet try to make it a slight bit more entertaining than I normally would if I didn't know someone would probably end up reading it. What do people think about when they read the thoughts coming out of my head? How do I come across? Too neutoric? Not neurotic enough? Funny? Boring? And then this- does it really matter????

Back to blogs- there's an article on KSL (see here) about a girl that wrote a blog and is now a little bit famous locally due to pizza issues. She's getting her 15 minutes of fame, plus some. And good for her! It's humorous to me, though. Here's a girl that is just another person like me. Another person who tends to blend into the world in obscure anonymity. And then BOOM! She's a must-read blogger. And I wonder. Would I like that? Would that bother me? Would it affect any future writing if I had more of an audience? Would I even care?

Sorry, guys. Today is a day of self-introspection. I apologize for dragging you all into my psychological evaluation of myself.

Anyways, so that's why I read so many blogs. I'll click on a friend's link and then one of THEIR friends links and so on and so forth until I come across something that captures my attention. A blog that has even one little thing in it that I can relate to. Mostly I won't put them as a link, since that still feels a little too stranger-stalkerish. (Yes, I made that up.) Almost like I'm asking people for more public recognition of a blog written by someone that I have never talked to or met in my life. It seems a little much. Yet, they are blogging on the internet.....

So here's what it boils down to:
I am a voyer. I read your thoughts and take them in with interest. If you are talking on the phone around me, I will listen to your conversation and take it in with interest. If you leave your curtains open and the lights on, I will casually glance around (from the distance of the street, of course) and take it in with interest. I am a voyer. But as I write my own thoughts and feelings and beliefs- am I not a bit of an exhibitionist, as well?

Much Love!

25 Things I Do Not Understand

Just as the title says, this blog is a list of some things that I do not understand......

1. A person that needs to always be around people and never alone.

2. Magic tricks.

3. Anything computer related other than the simple task of sending an email or writing a blog or surfing the internet.

4. People who complain about being fat but do not exercise or eat better.

5. Men who do not shave their heads when going bald.

6. How vehicles run. I.E.: Radiators, carburetors, pistons, spark plugs, manifolds (?), etc.

7. How getting cosmetic surgery could ever make anyone truly feel better about themselves as a person. (Though I must exclude those due to illnesses or injuries.)

8. The saying "You can't love anyone else until you love yourself".

9. Why everytime I spell the word "c-a-l-e-n-d-a-r", I ALWAYS put a "y" on the end and have
to delete or erase it.

10. Politics.

11. Ebonics.

12. How ping-pong, badminton, sailing and shooting are actual olympic sporting events.

13. Men.

14. Anyone who jumps from one relationship straight into another.

15. People that actually really believe that they are vampires.

16. Fung shui.

17. My landlady.

18. Huge million-dollar homes with teeny tiny yards.

19. After 7 years, 9 months and 6 days- I still like my job.

20. Why they are constantly changing soda can designs.

21. How even though my Smith's Fresh Value card has the bar code scratched, ripped, and generally peeling off- it still runs through the scanner at the self-checkout.

22. Unflushed toilets.

23. The obvious smell of old people.

24. Grudges.

25. That all fruit flavors of candy have absolutely no similarity to the actual taste of the fruit.

That's all I have for now.

Much Love!