Thursday, April 23, 2009

Goodbye, Dear Tank Tops

So it's April. And now I live in Montana. Which means that there is an inch or so of snow on the ground right now. For someone that hates the cold and loves sweating from summer heat, this is an issue.

I will deal with it, obviously. My mom teased me about how it is always cold here- and it got annoying. But now I have to suck it up and admit that she was absolutely right. It's cold here, damnit.

It wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that the wind never stops. So even when it's SUPPOSED to be 80 degrees, it feels like 70, or even 65, because it is constantly blowing. Which blows. (Pun intended!)

But on the other hand- this is the place to be if the USA is going down. Our power is not through crazy lines that come from crazy sources. As long as the Missouri River is running, we have power. And if someone were to blow up the dams, you ask? Well.... no power. But as far as being able to live- there are natural springs that just gurgle water from the middle of the Earth. Water is the most important thing needed to survive. And we have that.

Sorry, that was pretty random. I just think it's cool that my life is not entirely dependent on anything other than nature out here.

I'm adapting to working from home. At first I would have the TV on. But I found that when the TV is on, I actually end up distracted and wanting to watch it. So my new thing is to put in DVD after DVD throughout the day. And the good thing about that is that I'm putting in the DVDs that I've seen a billion times and can pretty much tone out. See- it's complex. I can't have silence when I am working. It drives me insane. But I can't have something on that I am really interested in. (I started getting into damn soap operas, as much as I hate to admit it. Did GiGi tell Rex that she didn't cheat on him with Brody but just pretended to so that her sister would give up her bone marrow to save GiGi's son's life since the sister wanted Rex and wouldn't be a donor unless GiGi ended it with Rex, even though it turns out that she's not even a match as a donor but knows who is and is using him- the person I don't know about yet- for his bone marrow? I don't know, because I started caring and had to stop.)

Music may be a possibility. Michael showed me how to stream music, so I may try that out once I exhaust every movie in the house. I only worry that I will just want to sing and sing and then again- have trouble focusing. See- I have this thing called a "work ethic". And this other thing called "motivation". I honestly want to do well at my job. Yes, I work for a paycheck. But I feel good when I end the day knowing that I did my job well. So I just need to find the perfect balance between background noise vs too much noise vs not enough noise. But practice makes perfect, right?

Other than that, things are normal and well here. Not a whole lot happening. We were going to see the slot car races this weekend, but I doubt we'll get out much since IT SNOWED.

I am now going to heat myself up some burritos and slather them with cheese and sour cream, and watch a movie. And then go to bed to prepare myself for more work tomorrow. Due to mandatory overtime, this is a busy week for me.

I know that wasn't the most exciting or entertaining post. Sorry. Just wanted to send another update.

Much Love!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Montanan. Seriously. Update Here....

So I wondered- are people that live in Montana called "Montanans", "Montanites", "Montanians", etc. And it's true- "we" are called Montanans. I heard it on a commercial. (And everything that is on TV it true and real.)

So here I am in Great Falls, MT. It's a small town (though it's the third largest in Montana, which is really hard to believe yet still true). I tried to get lost the other day while driving around, but it's small enough that you can't really get lost in it. Plus you've got the added help that the streets are similar to Salt Lake. For those of you that don't know, Salt Lake is based on a North/South and East/West map. There's a split between the East and West sides of town, and the North and South. The further south you go, the higher the "south" you are on is. So in Great Falls it's similar though it's all Avenues and Streets. The streets run east to west and go from like 1st street to a billionth street. (I only say that because I don't know how far east it goes.) Then there's Central Ave. The streets north of Central are 1st Ave N, 2nd Ave N, etc.... and I'm sure you can figure out that it's the same going south. So though I tried to lose myself in this city (which I'm more inclined to call a town), I couldn't.

I don't necessarily DISLIKE Great Falls. I can't dislike someplace after only being there for a week. It's just that it's still winter so it looks dirty and ugly. It will pass, I know. That's why I'm holding onto the fact that I need to make the best of it and it will change.

There are no Taco Bells or Taco Times here. But if you go the 10th Ave S (the main strip), you will find a Taco John or Taco Treat on every corner. Makes me think that the average Great Falls citizen indulged in tacos enough to have a huge following for each of them. (Now I'm craving tacos.....)

On a different subject- I am used to good-looking people. Salt Lake City has amazingly good-looking people at every turn. I don't know why, but it's true. And I think that SLC folk agree with me. But here in Great Falls...... Let me just say I went to the gas station the other day and everyone I came across just looked at me as if they would be willing to do anything I asked of them if I would let them touch me for just one moment. And you should all know by now that I don't have the highest self-esteem when it comes to my physical looks. That right there says a LOT. So I guess my advice to any woman who feels like they are not attractive- move to Great Falls. You will pretty much be the most attractive woman in town..... (It's just WEIRD!)

I absolutely LOVE our little rental house. It's small, but it's just me, Michael, and our children (the dogs) so it's the perfect size. And it actually has a really good "feel" to it. My office/room (my clothes and dresser are in there) looks absolutely awesome. I've worked in there for 32 hours so far with no complaints whatsoever. Okay, I have complained. But only about work, not my office itself.

The dogs are getting along okay. Sunni still tries to do a power-play with Mindy by attempting to hump her. But other than that, they are good friends.

It's been fabulous seeing Michael. For the whole 45 hours I have seen him since arriving here (which includes about more than 20 hours sleeping) Sunday morning (at 4 AM.) Which doesn't sound that bad until you realize there are 24 hours in a day and so I've been here since Sunday which (I just did the math) means that I've only actually spent time with him awake for....

<----- so I wrote the above pretty soon after I moved here and didn't post it, or anything since (obviously).

The town of Great Falls really is a lot better looking after the dirty snow crap goes away. I still don't get lost, but I'm actually getting a feel for the place. I know where to go to get to Smith's, Barnes & Noble, Starbucks, the "mall", etc. And on the weekend we have been hiking. It's freaking beautiful out here! Keep in mind that I have a sky fetish, and am now living in "Big Sky Country". So I just stare above a lot.

I work a lot. I signed up for an overtime project, and then got told that I have mandatory overtime for my actual normal job..... so I'm in my office a lot. But hey- it's money, right? We (Michael and I) have a plan to get completely out of debt. Though he is actually out of debt, so now it's on me... Haha! We have the long term plan of living in a sailboat on the ocean. Seriously. I know it sounds like a silly fantasy, but we can realistically do it in about 8 years or so. Meaning buy the sailboat with cash. If all goes well, we won't have to be drained with the 9-5 office jobs for ours lives. (And I mean that in the sense of working a boring steady job, since Michael's job most definately ISN'T a 9-5 office job.....)

Anyways, it's amazing out here as long as you are into the outdoors. Turns out that half the town just goes to the bars and gets drunk on the weekends, the other half are outside doing something active with nature. Can you guess which half I will fall into? :) (And if you say going to the bars, I am disappointed that you see me that way. Haha!)

Speaking of the bars, most of the stores in town (even the "mall") close at 6 on Saturdays. That's just crazy to me! But apparently, that's the big night for everyone to go out and get drunk.....

I bought myself some really expensive hiking boots. I am actually going to push myself to the breaking point and do some crazy hiking. Now that I don't smoke (I quit smoking, for those that aren't friends on Facebook) I can actually push myself to the point of exhaustion without my lungs feeling pain. Granted, they still hurt due to the lack of using them for anything good for a while. But they don't hurt like they used to. Yah for not smoking!!!!

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging. It's hard now that I don't blog at work. When I am working now, I am working. I even told Michael today to stop talking to me since I had to focus. So it's hard to get on the computer after work again. I will try though, damnit! :)

For those that "follow" me or even just read my blog, I am now officially on Facebook. Which I thought was dumb, until I found out that it is NOTHING like Myspace. So anyways, if you feel like getting in touch on Facebook (since I'm on there more than here), search for Jessica Maher. That's me, that's my name.

Anyways, back to Great Falls. It's a totally different way of life. A slower one. And I like that. Maybe I'm built for a smaller town atmosphere. Maybe I have a small town mentality. Whatever it is, I like that nobody seems to be in a crazy rush out here. People drive the actual speed limit! (Unheard of, I know!)

The relationship between me and Michael is so much better than it has ever been. There has always been issues between us, but now that we are out here together, they don't exist. We have been having a great time getting to REALLY know each other. We even sit down to dinner at a table instead of in front of the TV and just talk to each other about some random thought that just strikes us or whatever!

I did freak out one night. Michael was gone and I couldn't talk to anyone out here since I still don't know anyone. I felt like I was completely alone in this world. But I wasn't alone in this world. Though I'm not physically close to those I love (other than Michael, Mindy, and Sunni), I still know that I am loved. Which means that I am NOT alone. As cheesy as that may sound, it's the truth.

Okay, it's bedtime. I just wanted to post what I attempted to write a while ago, and update on what is happening now.

I am lucky, I am loved, I am happy, I can breathe!!, I am stable, I feel good. This was a good decision. And I thank myself for being strong enough to make it.

Much Love!