Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Guilty As Charged

I am sorry. Please forgive me. I've been busy and distracted and excited and on and on. But I am finally blogging about my news.

Effective March 27th, I will no longer be a Utahn. Yep, March 27th will be my last day in Utah. I will load up Michael's truck, throw the dogs in the back, drive my car on the car-trailer thing, and head to Montana.

For the past few years I have been feeling so stuck. I haven't felt like I've been living the life I am supposed to live. Like I've just been stuck doing something that doesn't challenge me or allow me to live up to my potential. Wake up, go to work, go home, read, go to bed. Repeat. Repeat. Etc. I do not want to live like that. I don't want to do the same thing that everyone else does- working an office 9 to 5 job until retirement and then live off social security and 401k. BORING. So...... I'm starting by moving to Montana with Michael.

I got approved at work to "work from home" in Montana. Which means I will basically be able to wake up, make coffee, and go into my office and work in my pajamas with the music as loud as I want (except for when Michael is sleeping). I will be able to make new friends and have new experiences and explore a new place and have an adventure- while also being with the man I love. Pretty sweet deal, huh?

Being with Michael is a PART of why I have decided to make such a change. Yes, I love the guy and want to be with him. However, I also know that I am going crazy with the monotony I have lived for the past few years. The monotony has been a pulsing pain inside my brain that previously had no opportunity to be released. The monotony has been dragging me down until I have felt like a robot stuck in the same circular motion. The monotony has drained a bit of my spirit and a bit of my energy. And now, the monotony will be silenced!

I know that life isn't going to be all flowers and gumdrops in Montana. There are going to be times when I feel so alone and wonder what in the world I was thinking. I'm not going into this with some idealistic view that everything is going to be perfect. It's not. I'm going to cry and worry and have good days and bad days. But I DO know that I'll at least be living in a way that I've needed to be living for years. And I'll pat myself on the back as often as I can that I am a strong enough woman to take a chance instead of settling.

I'm sure I'll have some interesting things to blog about in a little under two months. I'm sure that I'll have a lot to say and a lot to share. But until then, I'm just living in the excitement that I'm actually taking control of my life. And I thank myself for that.

Much Love!


elbie said...

congrats, jess!! that's so exciting!!

Just Me said...

Thanks, honey! I am so excited that it's killing me come in to work everyday!!

Amy Rachelle said...

Jessica I am SO proud of you! You have been in a bit of a stagnant rut for some time now. This is the BEST decision.
Go out there girl and LIVE your life!
I love you always

Courtney said...

How amazing - I can't wait to hear all about your new adventures! :) Love ya, Jess!

Goofy McWanker said...

Just promise that if/when you have that emotional breakdown that seems almost inevitable with shedding one's comfortable surroundings, you will entrust me with talking you from the ledge, deal? Hey, you were there for mine...