Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Dreams and Things

I have had some really wierd dreams in the past few nights. I'm not usually a dreamer, at least I don't usually remember them. For some reason, it's been happening. Four dreams that I remembered since between last Saturday and today. The last one is the most completely absurd and a bit disturbing. And keep in mind that though I remember the generals of the dream, the details are a little hazy. And they aren't exactly long dreams, either.

1. I was standing on the side of the road watching these animal control guys trying to load a cheetah into the back of their truck. I guess it had escaped or something and was roaming the streets. It somehow got away and then all of the sudden it was a baby cheetah the size of a kitten. I walked across the street putting out my hand to stop traffic- like the traffic control guys do. Everyone stopped and I said "Here, kitty". And the baby cheetah came up to me. I picked it up and went to give it to the animal control guys, but the baby cheetah wouldn't let go of me. It locked it claws in my shirt so that nothing we did could get it away. So they told me that I could just keep it......... And that was it.

2. I wasn't able to go to Bear Lake with my family like I was supposed to. So I was sad since my entire family was up there. Some guy that I don't know came to my house and told me that my entire family was dead. I asked what happened and he said "Diabetes". I responded "Diabetes doesn't kill an entire family over one weekend. What REALLY happened?" And he didn't answer me. And that was it.
*But I did wake up after this one absolutely crying my eyes out and couldn't stop for a while. Dreams have a scary way of sticking around even when you wake up. It's hard to get out of the dream state in the middle of the night.

3. The government had declaired Martial Law. I was at some sort of retreat with Michael and a bunch of his buddies that had formed a militia. They had tanks and all these things to protect their rights. At this retreat, they were deciding who they were going to accept as far as who would go with them. They had "accepted" me and I was approved to go and be protected by these guys. My friend Chad came to visit and he was a little mean to everyone. So the main militia guy (Michael's friend) said that I wasn't okay to go with them anymore. I kept crying and saying that I never really see Chad and that I don't understand why my friendship with somebody else has anything to do with me joining them in their militia. The guy said that I was just making it worse by making excuses. Michael was sitting there the entire time and didn't say one word in my defense. I started packing up all my things to go home and looked at the calendar. It was February 12th. 2 days before Valentine's Day and I was having to leave because Michael wouldn't stand up to his friends for me. And that was it.
*I feel like that dream actually had a lot of symbolism in it. I'm still thinking that one over....

****Parental Advisory on this last one****
****Disclaimer- this isn't about sex but is deeply disturbing to me and DOES talk about a certain female body part****
4. I was at this huge cabin for some kind of summer camp thing. I'm actually not quite sure what it was. I was in love with this guy that worked in the cafeteria, but he was in love with my friend. I was upset and went into the bathroom and sat down to cry for a while. I stood up and looked in the mirror and blood was coming out of my ear. I started freaking out. I wiped up the blood and noticed that my left eyeball was sunken in my eye socket. I looked at my ear even closer and realized that part of my eyeball was poking out of my ear. So I pushed at the ear-eyeball thing and heard/felt a POP. It wasn't poking out of my ear anymore. I wanted to make sure everything else was okay since my eyeball was still sunken in my head, so I stripped down. (This is where it gets disturbing to me.....) Come to find out, part of my eyeball was poking out of my vagina. (I could have used other words on this, but they all mean the same thing.) I didn't want to hurt anything by pushing it back in so I put on a robe and went into a room where a bunch of people were just standing around. My boss was there and I told her that it was a medical emergency and to call an ambulance. Then I just laid down on the ground in my robe. The "ambulance" came but they wouldn't come to the cabin. The were stopped at a park across the street and I needed to go to them. So I walked over there in my robe. Every time I took a step I could feel my eyeball in my head being pulled a little. Yuck. The "ambulance" wasn't an actual ambulance, it was just an old truck and it had a kid's car seat in the back. There were two old guys that were supposed to be the EMTs or Paramedics or whatever. They were just standing outside the truck smoking and talking about fishing. They weren't rushing or anything but I was freaking out because I had part of my eyeball poking out of my vagina! Finally, the one guys tells me that they are ready. He tells me to sit in the drivers seat, so I do. He got in the passengers seat and said "This may seem weird, but I need you to pretty much stradle me for this to work." (No, he wasn't naked or anything and he wasn't talking about sex at all.) So I stradled him and he rolled up his shirt sleeve. Said he had to push the eyeball all the way back inside. I looked at him with disbelief and said "Do you really think your arm will fit in there?". And that was it.
*I have NO idea what in the world that one was about. That's one of those dreams that makes me feel weird for even having.

So there you have it. My odd dreams that I have had and actually remember in the past 5 days. I'm not sure if I believe in dream interpretation, but for these dreams I'd actually take it.

Moving on...... what do you do when you know that someone is a manipulator and liar but says some things that are absolutely true? How much of what they say do you believe? I can't say "all of it" because there are pieces of truth that I already know for a certainty. How do we decide what is the truth and what is a lie in the rest of it that we don't know about? What do you think?

Last but not least- I'm leaving tomorrow for Bear Lake!!! Wahoo!! Gotta pack everything tonight so that I can just get off work tomorrow, pack up the car, grab Sunni and start heading out. I can't wait! My entire family is going to be there! The first time that my brother and all my sisters will be together at the same time since my wedding a billion years ago. I'm going to take a ton of pictures that I will share. Family time and freedom!! Tomorrow is going to DRAG at work since I'm looking forward to being off. I can't wait!!

Much Love!

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