Last old one...... (and yes, it was a TRUE story)
January 29th, 2007
At about 2 AM I was woken up by the sound of Sunni (my dog) puking. (I had fallen asleep on the couch so I was in my front room.) So in the dark I go to the kitchen to get some paper towels to clean up and I hear a big splurt. Yep, the sound of anal juiciness from Sunni. So I grab the entire thing of paper towels and turn on the light to find a nice mess. Sunni had puked in 3 different places and made an even bigger and more disgusting mess of liquid shit in the middle of my front room. So I'm cleaning everything up (while gagging the entire time). I get done and throw the paper towels away and turn off the lights to go to bed and then realize that I have to pee. Walking down the hall in my bare feet, guess what I step into? Yep. A huge pile of liquid shit combined with lovely large chunks. All over my left foot and bottom of my pajamas. Hopping down the hall on one foot, I jump deperately into the shower with my pajamas fully on. Get my foot and pajama bottoms all cleaned up and start getting out of the shower. Realize that I hadn't gotten a towel and I'm dripping wet and freeing (since my pajamas aren't on anymore, of course). I get into my room and the light burns out so I can't see anything. I was walking around trying to find something to wear to go back to bed in and step on a belt buckle that is on my floor which of course pokes into my foot and hurt like a bitch. In reaction, I pick up my foot to rub it better when I lose my balance and fall back, knocking my head on my bedroom door. I lay there crying for a couple of minutes and then got up. Found something to throw on to wear back to bed and have to go back to the fron room to get my cell phone since it's my alarm. And, of course, forget the large pile of yuckiness laying in wait for me that I hadn't had a chance to clean yet. Thanks to my bedroom light, I saw it JUST in time. But not before starting to put my foot down and having to throw my weight at the last minute to avoid the completion of the step. In the process of that, lost my balance again and fell backwards, smacking my ass into the wall and then falling into the hallway with all my body weight landing on my left arm. I lay there crying again. Got up and finally went back to bed. Sounds like a movie, but I SWEAR that really happened to me this morning. Happiness, huh? Though not that it's over, it's pretty damn funny!