Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Friendship Do's And Don'ts

Have any of you noticed that there are different types of friends? There are so many different types of relationships we have with each other. I have friends that I don't see very often but are still friends. I have long-distance friends (Hey, Courtney!) that I don't ever see OR talk to very often but will always be people that I consider close to my heart. There are friends that I spend most of my time with and surround myself with. No matter which type of friend people are to me, they have only wanted me happy. And in doing so, they support my relationships and decisions. They support me when I'm sad, support me when I'm happy, support me whether or not they agree with what I do. They do not try to talk me out of something I'm passionate about. They do not try to come between me and my relationships. They let me live my life and do what makes me happy without trying to interfere for their own selfish reasons.

What I absolutely do NOT understand is a friend who interferes in your relationship, who tries to talk you out of being with someone, who manipulates and interferes and spreads lies in a crude attempt towards watching the relationship fail. I do not understand why someone can actually consider themselves a friend while constantly and intentionally causing grief. I do not understand how someone can claim that they love someone and care about them, but have no respect for what that person wants and needs. I do not understand how being a good friend consists of lying and exaggerating and being completely unsupportive and selfish. Does this make sense to anyone else?

I like to surround myself with people that help bring me up, not tear me down. I like to have friends that help me when I need help and give me advice when I ask, but don't stick their noses where they don't belong. I like to surround myself with people that are true and genuine and open-minded to other people's differences. This is who I am and this is who I desire around me.

And because I surround myself with these people, I am extremely loyal and even somewhat protective. If anyone says something bad about those I hold near and dear, I will rush to defend that person. My family, my friend, Michael. It doesn't matter. I will rush to defend them and be anywhere from slightly annoyed to angry that they would even say something bad about them. Even while going through all this with Michael, my friends and family still do not voice negative thoughts about him to me.

My point is that true friends build you up and support you. UNtrue friends try to sabatoge happiness and try to make decisions FOR you so that your attention never wavers to someone else. Whether it be due to feelings one has for the person, whether it be a poor self-image, whether it be the need to dominate, whatever. It's not a true and healthy friendship.

So thank you to my good friends. My friends who raise me up and let me live my life how I want to. I love you.

Much Love!


LT said...

Food For Thought:

I once thought that drinking was a good thing for me. Those closest to me kicked me to the curb. They did it not because they didn't like me. They did it because they DID like me. I'm not saying that you're doing anything as grossly wrong as me drinking. I'm just pointing out that sometimes people's hearts and motives are in the right place. People aren't perfect. Their good intentions don't always come across as divinely as they were intended. Try to forgive. Not for them, but for you.

PS - Michael is still a jerk :)

Just Me said...

Troy- the problem is a certain person in Michael's group of friends. This certain person continually lies to him about me and interferes with our relationship by always trying to come between us. I believe that Michael should be able to make his own choices without someone else trying to affect the outcome, purely out of jealousy. Make sense? And damnit, Troy! He isn't a jerk!! :)

Cameron's Corner said...

I love you, too. I mean... um... actually, I'm probably not who you're talking about so forget about my confession of love, ok?

Just Me said...

Ah, Cam- you are one of my bestest buddies EVER! :)

Courtney said...

Thanks for the shout-out! I love how our friendship has withstood the test of time and distance - we rock!! :) Love you!

Just Me said...

Courtney, my love. It's been.... what? 15 years since we first met and I giggled while we walked around the neighborhood?
Always remember- Garden Herb Triscuits.
I love you, gorgeous.

Courtney said...

They herby! :) We were so funny - ahh, memories! Love you - have a great weekend. Wish I could have been there for Jessica Celebration Day. You are amazing and definitely deserve to be celebrated every day!

Goofy McWanker said...

Cheers to genuine friends!